1 step forward, 1 step back

All week I have been trying to listen to God.
Waiting for His plan and the choices I need to make.
He is so patient with me ~
I have always said that God watches out for the stupid people.

This week I haven't felt like He's been watching out for me because I'm not always that smart. I have felt that He has been blessing me and my family "just because He wanted to". Little things here and there have worked my way ~ almost like aligning the planets in my life to point to the direction I need to be heading. He has provided things I have been waiting for for years this week - in not so obvious ways.

I continue to wait patiently ~ listening and keeping my eyes open.

So, this week I come across some things I have been wanting for years. Things that were not in my price range and even if they had been, don't know that I would have gotten. I have gotten about $200 worth of things I needed for $10.00. As things keep working in my favor I keep thanking God over and over ~ for keeping His eye on me and never leaving me.

I called my husband so excited ~ rambling on and on about this and how happy I am. He has good news too about his future and it is obvious that God is really at work in our lives.

About 8:30 last night my daughter comes in from outside saying "all of the car doors are locked, mom" ~ and of course, the keys are inside. I have never had to unlock myself into a car before ~ all I knew is I needed a hanger and a flashlight. As I inspect my car I realize it is impossible for me to break into this thing. After calling friends for help, the sheriff for help ~ anybody who would know someone who has broken into a car ~ no one can help. I am stuck out in the middle of literally no where, 20 miles to the closest town ~ with 2 kids and a track meet to go to which is my daughters last one. I hadn't been able to go to any of the others but I had promised her I would go. Needless to say, I have no spare key - I cannot pick a lock -

So I have the locksmith coming this morning to fix my big oops.
He says it will be at least $50.00.
He said new cars these days aren't designed to get into anymore with the tight seals around the windows and it's so difficult to unlock the lock with having no where to grab to it and hard to push the automatic door lock buttons.

As I thank God for all of His wonderful blessings, I know He is shaking His head at me in disbelief of how I can manage to screw up such a beautiful thing.

Easter

Today went better than expected after worrying all week.
I wondered how we were going to handle it.
It made reality "real" and I was scared to face it.
I was scared for my kids to face it.
This is how Easter will be now.

Every Easter for the last 4 years the kids and I would travel out of state to our grandparents house. Since we moved closer to them it was easier and there was no place in the world I would have rather been. Their home was "home" for me even though I never lived there.

The first year we went was when my grandmother was still alive. She had had a stroke about 10 years before and couldn't move around or do a lot of the things she would have liked to have done since that time. The last couple of years of her life became especially difficult for her. As she got older simple things were major. My grandfather took such great care of her. At that time, he was 88.

On this Easter in 2000 when we arrived at their house, she just wasn't going to be able to go to church. This was not normal. It was Easter - and that's what she did. My cousin had stepped on her foot a week or 2 before and she was REALLY stuck. It hurt her so badly and was blue and swollen. My husband soaked it in Epson salt and a bandage trying to help it from hurting.
After not having been there very long I realized that she wasn't able to get up and go to the restroom. She asked us to step outside while my grandpa brought her a portable potty. He couldn't even lift her up to get to it. For other reasons that I don't feel like I need to elaborate on, I decided I needed to call my dad. This was his mother and I didn't know what to do other than tell him what I was witnessing and to voice my concern.

I couldn't allow this to continue for her or my grandfather. It was too much for him to handle and I didn't want her to be so helpless.

Little did I know that that 1 phone call would do so much and start something that I had dreaded my entire life to get our world as we knew it, turning in a different direction.

My dad rushed to their house from about 100 miles away. He immediately called the ambulance to come and get her to take her to the hospital to have her foot looked at more closely. I think he assumed physical therapy would fix it. The ambulance came and they put her on a stretcher and carried her outside.

I remember this clearly ~ as if it were yesterday.
I remember trying to wipe my tears away fast enough so that she wouldn't see.
I was hopeful and optimistic about where this was going but was sad because it was Easter.

By the end of the afternoon she was at a nursing home facility where they would do physical therapy. My dad left. As always. I stayed with her until she didn't want me there ~ I knew she was frustrated and may have blamed me. I try not to think of that.

Now that she has gone ~ only 2 weeks after I made that phone call ~ I have to question my decision. Did I overreact? Was my grandpa fine taking care of her? He never complained.

She never came home.
It was Easter Sunday and I was responsible for taking her out of her "comfort zone".
That was the last time she was at her house after 40+ years of living there. And I took her away. What if I had just kept my mouth shut? Maybe she would have been there the next Easter.

The next 3 years the kids and I would go back to spend the day with my grandpa.
We would go to the park for the annual Easter Egg Hunt and take our lawn chairs.

Every Easter was always beautiful ~ the last 4.
Clear sunny skies and warm.

Since he passed away ~ actually, I have a hard time even using those words ~ it is more like ... since he was murdered ~ last August, things haven't quite been right with me. Even though I had a dad ~ he was my father.

So, today was the first Easter without him.
It was cold and rainy.
No Easter Egg Hunt today.

My son didn't mind on hunting eggs, thank goodness. They had done it at school Thursday so he didn't feel he was missing out on anything. He didn't say anything about our grandpa today ~ I wonder if he thought about him. He tends to block stuff like that out ~ he doesn't even want to talk about him a lot. My daughter remembered. She mentioned that it wouldn't be the same on Easter without him.

I tried not to think about it and did a good job.
Saying goodbye is a hard thing to do.
I just feel like I say goodbye every single day.
I say I'm sorry to my grandmother every day.
I know she forgives me.
She knew I loved her and cared so much.
I know it's not my fault.
I know it's not my dads fault.
I just can't help wondering if I should have left it alone.
Let them continue to live that way.
He was too old and couldn't take care of her any longer.
That's how I felt and I still feel that way.
I just feel that it was me that put it into motion.

I just miss them so much that I don't think I will ever stop crying.
I can still hear her laugh ~ and I can still see his wink.

I suppose the important part now is not to forget either one of those things.

Déjà Vu

Just saw Billy Idol on Jay Leno.

He doesn't look that much older to me than he did back then.
I am surprised he can pull off wearing the clothes he does at his age.
Not sure how old he is exactly, but I am pretty sure he's getting older.
It seems he was old back then.

I was never a real fan of his ~ liked a couple of songs he did.

I will probably appreciate him more this time around.
He is the closest thing to takin' me back to the 80's as I can get.

Never thought I'd ever get old enough to say "those were the good ol' days".

Older but wiser?

All of my family has always been older.
Being the only child I had to spend alot of time alone or with older people.
I didn't have a very large family so not too many cousins ~ they all lived far away.

I have always had a lot of respect for older people. I've always considered them wiser and a good source for information. I remember having long conversations with my grandfather about his childhood and listened to his advice. He honestly was the smartest man I have ever known.

Since his death in August of last year ~ my life has really felt empty when it comes to "wise" people. I live around and go to church with a lot of elderly people, but they aren't my grandfather. I want to hear his stories again.

Today I had to experience for the first time since his death, patience with an elderly person.
My grandfather couldn't hear or drive ~ saw things differently than I. He died at the age of 92 which I am sure explains most of his thinking. It was easy to forgive him for disagreeing with me and overlooking his short comings.

But the lady today just tried my patience. As I previously posted, this week has been an emotional roller coaster for me and I have yet to pin-point exactly why. If I didn't have a reason before, I will just blame it on what happened this morning.

So, my elderly neighbor likes to go to auctions and "collect" a lot of stuff. She goes to garage sales and piles her barns and house full of stuff. I'm not sure why she does this ~ almost like an addiction for her.

I don't think of her as that "old". She is probably in her early to mid 70's. Still seems like she is in great health and pretty spunky. She is sweet, but not in a "grandmotherly" sort of way to me. She is very hard to read.

Back to our tiff.

She called last week wanting me to list some of her things on eBay. I didn't have too big of a problem doing this for her. However, the last time I did this last year for her ended up being a nightmare. She had about 1 million stamps and wanted a gold mine for them. Just wasn't going to happen. Luckilly, she finally came and got them and I thought I'd wiped my hands of all that for her.

I agree to go to her house, take some pictures and do some research. She had a couple of teapots, an old soda bottle, a bandana, a sugar bowl, and some china. After doing my investigating for her, I tell her that the only things that may sell are the bandana and the china.

After asking her a million questions, I feel confident. I took the pictures of the bandana and china ~ she had pulled out 3 glasses from a box and said that those were the sizes of glasses she had.

So back to eBay I go. I list them. Her prices on these things are extremely high ~ I am doubting they will sell after finding out what she wants for them but am giving it a try to help her out.

Within 3 days, someone bids and wants the china. I am thrilled for her. I call her and tell her I will be over to get them ready to ship and hold them until the auction ends and payment is received. Not a problem.

I go by and pick them up last night and brought them in this morning to inspect to make absolutely sure that nothing is chipped ~ as I am the responsible seller and wanted to wash them, etc.. before packing them up.

To my surprise, not only are there not nearly as many glasses as she told me, there are 9 different sizes - not 3. I was livid. She hadn't called to correct her mistake with me or try to correct the problem at all. It didn't bother her at all that she was misleading anyone apparently.

I then go back to her house this morning about to really come unglued. I know this is an older woman who yes, may have a problem counting. Or determining height. Or knowing how to use the phone. I just wasn't buying it.

I carry the box back into her house and say "We have a problem". I explain to her the misrepresentation of this, how I had to end the listing ~ she laughed. She never once took any responsibility and acted as if I couldn't count or determine height of a glass. She just asked why I did that ~ I said because that is what I was told and lead to believe. I told her I didn't know what she should do with them but I didn't think they'd sell on eBay ~ only because I wanted out of that business with her.

I then give her the fees it cost me to list these items for her ~ she stands there. I wait.
I get tired of waiting ~ I leave. I'm pretty sure she understood me as saying it was free.

When I get home, I call my dad. He is very close to her and her "live in boyfriend". He says for me not to worry that he is going to buy them a computer. They do a lot for him and will not take his money so this was going to be his way of paying them. He then says that she can just sell her things herself on eBay. I cringe.

I do feel so bad about being so angry with her. He tried to assure me that she really is getting old and that she just doesn't know what she is doing. He made excuses for her but somehow I just couldn't "get it". For some reason I just thought she was a liar and a cheater. Old age or not ~ there is no excuse. I just hope when I get old and if I'm kindof getting "drifty" in my mind, I will ask for help. I will admit when I make a mistake.

I have been dealing with a lot of people lately that seem to be this same way. They feel that they are right and always right ~ people complaining but do nothing to fix the problem ~ people who make promises they cannot keep ~ people who will do whatever it takes regardless of who is in the way to make a buck ~ people who expect something for nothing ~ I could keep going.
This may be the reason I would rather stay home than leave the house. My patience is gone. My understanding is limited.

Maybe people these days just don't feel that they have to be held accountable for anything. They do what they want to do and worry about the consequences later. I am guilty of having done that myself from time to time, but do not make a habit of it. I have been known to fly by the seat of my pants because from day to day my life can take a 180 degree turn ~ and this is normal to me. Rob Peter to pay Paul ~ those sorts of things. But when it comes to character, or being trust-worthy or morals ~ I just don't play around with those things. They mean so much to me to find those things in people ~ and it is important for me to have and offer those qualities in my relationships with my family and friends.

I am not saying my neighbor did this deliberately ~ but she seems to have it "together". I do give her the benefit of the doubt and believe that she is used to dealing with a "buyer beware" way of thinking not realizing that it eBay is a very "buyer protection" type place. That is how eBay has become so successful ~ trust. It is not a "buy at your own risk" like a regular auction would be. But my issue with this is that if she is under the impression that eBay is a "buyer beware" system ~ why she would want to take advantage of that? Why did she not be accurate to begin with? Why did she half-way know what she was selling and never say a word when she really found out what she had? That's where the word accountable comes in. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".....and I know that if she had purchased something and had been mislead she would have been upset too. I cannot for the life of me understand why she doesn't comprehend that.

I feel that she sends the signal that it's not okay if someone does that to her, but it's okay if she does that to someone else.

My business relationship with her is over ~ the goodness of my heart favors have run out.

The remote control is mine

I have been so cranky the last couple of days.
Not sure why............... really have no reason.

I am just irritable and antsy.
My last nerve is gone. The last straw is gone.

I'm figuring it is because I am here with the kids and my husband is gone. I am sure they would rather be outside than cooped up in the house with me. Especially this cranky, moody me I have turned into.

Had a great weekend with my husband being back. Stayed up the entire night Friday talking.
We do that about every other month.
We both talk so much we are interrupting each other constantly. I tend to interrupt to avoid forgetting what I was going to say. If I wait long enough for him to finish a sentence - poof - gone and usually never to return.

We talk about everything. Religion, politics, people, what-if scenerios, memories, and what we plan to do with the rest of our lives. And, he never yawns -- ever.

I am lucky.

One thing with him being gone though ~
I have complete control over the remote.
Though I like his shows ~ sometimes I just want to watch what "I" want to watch.
How many things can they possibly come up with on CSI? We watch every single one, every single week.
Fear Factor - and that comes on every week when dinner is ready.
The Contender - I like that show but I tend to cry.
Las Vegas - One of my absolute favorites.
Those are the only ones that I came up with off the top of my head that he is completely in to.

Me ~ I can't help but like to watch some of the reality shows. I don't know what it is about them. I like The Apprentice - he hates it.

So, last night I had complete control. I got to pick and didn't have to worry about anyone complaining.

First comes Nanny 911 ~ In comes my 8 year old son.
He was completely fascinated over that show. I don't think he blinked once.

So, mom was a basketcase at the beginning and the husband was a jerk.
My heart goes out to the mom for being left alone with all these kids while her husband tends to his "birds".....yeah, that would have lasted about 10 minutes at my house. He would have found his belongings out there with him.
Suddenly, it is clear that this mom is the problem.
They sleep too late, kids are late for school, and she makes pancakes.
This family needs help ~
Nanny about has a breakdown ~ the husband doesn't say 5 words through the entire thing ~ mom is just completely confused what she's doing wrong.
Now, that's TV - that's my kind of drama.

Next was Extreme Makeover.
Never seen that before.
8 year old still with me.

Wowwweee -
Only thing that I thought at the end was how if that had been my mom ~ I'd have been kinda freaked out. I would know she was happy but since I didn't really recognize her - it would take a while for her to be "mom" again - I think all kids think their moms are already beautiful ~

Next was Super Nanny.
8 year old STILL watching.
Only he really got into this one.
I think it is because he was completely in shock seeing how these kids acted.

So, this mom had alot to deal with but I knew that she could "get it" and handle them.
Dad ~ wasn't sure about.

So, after no one ate at the table and ran around like wild Indians, the nanny asks what they are going to do that day.

The mom says "We are going to venture to the mall".....

HUH?!?!? I could see where this was headed.

They get there ~ and it was worse than I had pictured.

Maybe I am too strict - but my way of thinking is "My way or no way"....
I am in control - I have the say - I am the responsible one

The 2 things that I noticed about this episode:

The time-out rug or corner they have ~ fine idea ~ had one myself.
But I do not like how the kids have to say "I'm Sorry" before they leave it.
I may be wrong and would be the first to admit it - but I do not want anyone whether they are 4 or 94 telling me they are sorry for something that they aren't - and are being forced to apologize. It isn't sincere. My kids have always said it and have never been forced to.

The other is how at the end the mom takes them to the mall and says to the nanny:
"I can't believe this - I wouldn't have ever thought I could have taken them to the mall"

Did you see what the kids had in their hands? Looked like Slurpies.
Sure, give a kid a Slurpie and they will be quiet and take the time to drink it.
That's a great band-aid for that problem.

So, I can't say I liked that show as well as Nanny 911.

I then caught a show called "How Clean Is Your House" -- oh my gooooossshhh.
I could talk for days about that show! I have only seen it 1 other time.

So, did the blonde lady lose a bet and has to be the one that smells everything???

That was my excitement ~ I just like looking in on other families and what is going on.

It makes me realize that I must be doing something right with my kids and am so thankful for my house ~ even though it is not spotless ~ it is clean compared to some. I just have to go back and count my blessings.

Water

I live on Dr. Pepper and by no means feel that I eat healthy. I do walk a couple of times a week but that is about it when it comes to exercise. As I get older, I can really tell that I need to change my habits and take better care of myself. Luckilly, I have never had a serious illness even though I've had a couple of scares.

I wanted to share this info because it really surprised me. I will certainly be making sure that I drink more water. My husband brought it home from his classes he's taken this week and I hope that he will pay more attention to it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated

~ In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger!

~ Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.

~ One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.

~ Lack of water is the #1 trigger for daytime fatigue.

~ Preliminary research indicates that 8 to 10 glasses of water a day could significantly easy back and joint pain.

~ A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

~ Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of: (this completely amazes me!)

* colon cancer by 45%
* slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%
* 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Lost in Translation

My husband is coming home this afternoon. This was his 1st week out of a 6 week pain management class. He was put in this class by worker's comp after having something fall and pin him to the ground and hurt his back -- that was Feb., 04. When I got the call he was hurt, I figured he'd be back to work in a week. I'm still waiting for that day to come.

Found out recently that he will not be able to do what he was doing and learn a new trade. That should be interesting. Ever meet someone with the people-skills of a rock? That's him. I would have thought after almost 9 years of marriage, he would have learned something from me. Generally, I am a very caring person who people can cry to ~ and I listen. I am not the type to say what is on my mind because I figure they don't want to hear my babble anyway and honestly they don't care. That's probably why I will probably continue to blog. No one will ever read it anyway I presume, but if they do, they chose to - I didn't force anyone to read it or listen to me.

I have called him every night this week to check in. Usually I don't understand a word he says on the phone. Aside from talking so quietly and him hating to talk on the phone at all, all I hear is mumbling. I really hate that. Either speak up and speak clearly or hang up the phone.
Ok, back to my point.
So, I ask what he's been doing all day. He says "playing games". "???", I ask. He says he is in a group of older women (in their 70's.....he is 37) and they are playing "getting to know you" games. Interesting, I think.....I'm sure he is blending in real well there. He explains how there is a board with dice and cards. The cards have questions ~ not easy questions for my husband. Questions like, "How do you feel around water?"....Me, I'd think of 1 word off the top of my head not wanting to waste anyones time -- he on the other hand is the type that would have to ponder and ponder until he gives the truthful answer. (Yes, I am really blessed that I have such an honest husband....I don't doubt his faithfulness or tall-tale stories at all....I say this honestly.)

So, its his turn and the card asks "Name the loneliest time in your life".....he says he thought about the time where he and I were seperated but didn't want to get into that drama with the little ol' ladies --
So, after the ladies are getting antsy for him to answer, trying to help him remember something....anything to get the game moving again....
He says, "I guess it would be the time I was in jail". Oh my God, I say......why in the world would he say that?!?!
Of course the little ol' ladies are sitting there stiff as boards....the air yanked right out of 'em....terrified to even blink an eye. Dead silence. A criminal at their table.

After the shock wears off, the game proceeds again. Little ol' lady to the left of him is rolling her dice, leans over to my husband and whispers in a trembling voice in his ear, "Did you only have to stay 1 night?".....and you know what my husband says??!?! I should be so proud to say his reply was, "Which time?!" He said they do not allow him to hold their bags anymore or help them out the door, etc... they keep their distance. I am sure they are fighting everyday, bickering amongst themselves on who will be chosen to sit by him.

I love this man dearly. Yes, his answer to his "getting to know you" questions was correct ~ but he did not need to use that one. My thinking would be...."when my grandpa died" or something....anything but telling the little ol' ladies how I had been in jail. Maybe he didn't think anything about it ~ maybe he wanted to get a reaction ~ I don't know. But I am sure he was not lying and telling the truth which I do appreciate him doing...but sometimes there is too much truth to be told.

So, I am not sure what he will be doing for a living. I have finally convinced him that being a "Park Ranger" isn't going to happen in this life-time. My mother wants he & I both to get into real estate. Me, that's fine if I do it -- but I can just see it now....

My husband shows a property in the back woods here in "hick-ville"....

*while driving his truck that is not 4 wheel drive everywhere on the land you would need a 4 wheel drive ~ because he's just like that.

*He'd be wearing a black felt cowboy hat in the summer, with a turkey feather sticking out of the headband. I might as well put a toothpick in his mouth while I'm at it.

*He'd be singing along to his "PBR" (Professional Bull Riders) CD.

*He'd have his dark shades on where when you looked at him, you'd see your own reflection in the mirrored lenses.

*He'd then pull out a cigarette....and actually light it.

*Big Red cans, honey bun wrappers and gun shells rolling all around the floorboard under his clients feet.

*He'd find the wettest, muddiest place of all to stop ~ at the furthest back corner of the property and shut off the engine.

*He'd get out and talk like a hillbilly, "Shur is perty out here!" "Hey, did I mention that body I found out here a couple 'years back underneith them there trees behind you?"

*The client would insist to leave and my husbands truck battery would be dead.

========================================

Yes, some of these things are true about my husbands character. That is surely the reason people say opposites attract. I would be the stupid one leaving the house wanting to make a good impression, wearing high heels showing a client a farm.

But his sense of humor is a little off at times. Even though he'd have never found a body ~ I would never in a million years put it past him to say. First impressions speak volumes, don't they?!? Not that he would have to be fake in giving his ~ but give me a break.

Call it whatever you want...

PreTeens ~ I don't recall ever demanding to be called this. I don't recall being 12 and feeling that everything about my schedule was up to me to make. I just remember that boys were "cute" ~ they weren't "hot" ~ they were "hot" when I was 16.

At 12 I was listening to Air Supply and Chicago. I was watching "America's Funniest Home Videos" on prime-time TV. I watched "Three's Company" wondering why my mother wouldn't let me. "Jaws" scared me to death.

Maybe I was sheltered. Since I went to a private Christian School, I wasn't exposed to anything, really. I remember seeing the "F" word not knowing what it meant, but I knew it was bad. When I started the 9th grade and moved to the public school, I almost fainted when I actually heard the word. I remember the shock not believing I had actually heard that word.

I now have my very own "PreTeen". 12 going on 30. She censors the radio now. A song will come on and she'll change the station real quick and say "....you don't want to hear that".
Huh? ANY song she listens to I wouldn't know if it's good or bad -- I cannot for the life of me figure out what they are saying -- I'll catch 1 sentence and that's about it. "In 'Da Club".....something about a birthday and we're going to the club. She says I don't need to know the rest of it and to stop trying to sing it.

Maybe it's because I live in "hick-ville" and people talk so slow around here. Since we moved here in 2000, I have had to learn to adjust to the slower pace of life -- I had no choice. Everyone drives slow, works slow, talks slow..... not to mention the fact that I am now in my mid-30's and part of it may be that my mind is just slowing down. I hate having to pay so much attention to everything to just understand. I don't understand the music and I certainly don't understand her or her mood swings.

I honestly think that "PreTeens" have their own language....and planet.

When I was 12, I was a cheerleader. All of the girls were cheerleaders. We didn't have a choice. It was "P.E.". Because we were to keep our bodies covered at all times, we wore a cross of pants/skirt. 2" below the knee that looked like a dress but weren't. Made of polyester. We had to wear a "dickey" under our SWEATER long sleeve top. At the time, none of us girls knew any better - we didn't really realize how stupid we looked...not that we had a choice in the matter.

So, after an experience like that when I was 12, must explain why I am so confused when I take her shopping to keep finding shirts that are made of "Kleenex". Ummm, how many times am I allowed to wash the shirt before it dissolves into nothing?!? And the sayings on the front of these shirts are so misleading ~ made to be interpreted however you want.

I am learning to adjust to this. It is so hard to parent a child who knows what a dork you were when you were their age. I don't dare show her pictures of me in my cheerleading outfit.

And when did I get so stupid? Was their a specific time or event when the a stupid sign appeared when she looked at me? How come it's dorky when her dad says "dude"? Since when do neither of us know how to dress ourselves? Since when we say the word "no" is to be interpreted to mean "yes"? Why can't I say the words "that's cool" without being looked at like I'm "trying to be young again"? She doesn't think a thing about eating crackers in her bed or ever putting her clothes in the hamper -- she just keeps wearing them and wearing them until I have to peel them from her body. PreTeen....too complex to understand.

I just hope my son who is 8, will always want to give mom a goodbye kiss.......at school.
(yeah, right) I hope he will always ask me a million questions and count on me to know everything.

My Blogging Debut

6 hours have passed since I sat down to check my email. Had alot to do today, but instead chose to sit here and figure out what exactly to say on this blog. Had no intention of blogging today ~ in fact, I don't know that I would have ever blogged. I really have nothing of importance to say to the world ~ but you'd thought I was about to make a presidential speech or something. As if suddenly a rush of people were going to jam the internet to get to this page wondering what I had to say.

I searched other bloggers blogs ~ about 100 of them. "What were they saying that was so important", I wondered. To be completely honest, I didn't understand alot of what I read.

There was alot of poetry, alot of people very angry with George Bush, and 1 guy that decided to tell the world that it was a beautiful day and how he'd pulled out his sandles. That was a big deal to him to share with the rest of us nosey people, I suppose. Some were obviously depressed, some sharing things they wouldn't have shared before.

So, with all of the opinions and thoughts I've read today and gearing myself up for my "blog debut", I will now take some Tylenol and lay down for a while. I'm just certain there are oodles and oodles of people waiting anxiously for me to publish this post. :-)