Confession

Yesterday we went to our favorite Tex-Mex restaurant ~ I actually had my digital camera in my purse to take some pictures of my family to share with you. One thing I realized is that from now on I will never buy cheap batteries. I was able to take a total of about 8 pictures before they needed to be replaced. Of course I didn't have anymore with me.

The ones I was able to get looked great until I uploaded them on my computer.

The one I took of my son Landon showed nothing but teeth. The one of my husband was nothing but a frown because by the time I actually got the batteries to do something it was about the 15th time I had told him to smile. Jessica was still pouting in hers. So, I've decided to try again with better batteries so give me a couple of days and I should have something.

As I sat down to type this post I decided to change the topic. The more I typed the more I felt that I actually should set the record straight about me. Mainly in fear of making a fool of myself. As I admit this I am not saying it to make you laugh ~ I do not do it to be funny ~ it is only funny and something to laugh about after I've realized what has happened. I'm sure I've lived with this flaw my entire life but it wasn't brought to my attention until I got married. Only until recently have I really become aware of it.

The truth of the matter is ~ I am really not very smart.
The confusing thing is that I am not blonde.
I just get perplexed easilly and I probably appear to just be a moron.
I don't like being seen as that ~ I really want to be intelligent.
At least be able to pretend to be.

When Jessica Simpson made the comment about "Chicken in the Sea" ~ I completely understood. I couldn't have answered her question. Since that happened and everyone thought it was so funny I have really been trying to watch things I say so people don't laugh at me.

I am only telling you this for future reference.
Just an FYI.
If I ever post something that makes absolutely no sense ~ you now know why. I have always known of people either being "book smart", "street smart" or just having common sense. Everyone should fit into 1 category ~ but I don't have any of these 3 things. I did think I had common sense but I'm beginning to wonder.

I'm only going to share the most recent 2 examples of what I'm talking about. I honestly am reluctant to even admit this to the world because I know someone out there will wonder what this world has come to knowing that there are people like me sharing their air. Again, at the time I said these things I am going to privately tell you ~ it made complete sense.

Saturday at Landon's baseball game it was kindof breezy and chilly. The breeze was blowing directly in our face. Jessica was huddled against me and me against her with my husband sitting there enjoying the cool air. Directly in front of us on the other side of the ball field were duplexes ~ sortof at the end of a dead end street. During the last inning just before it was over, we walked over toward the dugout to "high-5" Landon on his great job. I realized the wind wasn't blowing over there and said to my husband and my daughter, "Hey, it's not windy over here ~ the duplex over there must be blocking the wind". My husband gave me this weird look and said, "You think that house waaayyy over there is blocking the wind clear over here".....I said, "Well, yes......I think the wind is blowing up over the roof and staying up in the air and blowing over our heads". I got the "look" again.

1/2 of me still thinks this could have been the reason.
Was it me or is it my husband that has no sense?
Yes, the duplex was (in my estimation) a 1/2 block away.

So, that one really didn't bother me ~ I am no expert scientist on wind and gravity or whatever the wind is or how it works.

Yesterday afternoon was the one that bothered me the most. I am sure that part of this had something to do with:

#1 - Me not thinking things through
#2 - Never having had planted a garden before
#3 - Bad directions on the pumpkin seed packet
#4 - Bad directions on the cucumber seed packet

Some of you will probably think the answer is I didn't use my brain. That's where the scary part comes in because I DID.

This is what the pumpkin seed packet says:
(Well, the part I read)

Days to Germination......8-10
Days to Harvest..............90
Plant Height.....................10-12 ft
Row Spacing.....................Hill 8 ft

I am sitting out in my garden after I finished planting everything else when I read this. I think I did very good up until this point. This is when my brain zapped. (I should also mention that today I finally figured out that "harvest" means they'll be done).

Plant Height................10-12 ft
Row Spacing................Hill 8 ft

I'm thinking to myself...."how in the world are the pumpkins going to hang 10-12 ft in the air without tipping over......is this a tree???". I have my daughter look at it. She says she doesn't know. I then decide to ask my husband. I go in the house where he is and ask sweetly, "Honey, how are the pumpkins going to hang 10-12 feet in the air without tipping over? Do you think it's a tree? OR, do you think I am supposed to dig a hole 8-10 feet deep and plant the seeds way down there? Because if I have to have a hole that big, you are going to have to dig it. I can't shovel that far down. We are going to need something really big. Do you realize how far down that is?" OMG ~ the "LOOK".

That is when I actually "HEARD" what I was thinking.

I'm still now sure what the "Hill 8 ft" means. What do I need a hill for?

After I heard what I said to my husband I didn't even wait for his response.

Today I called my mother. Mother's understand ~ and my mother certainly should since she needs to take responsibility for part of the reason I have ended up like this.

She explained that they are actually on a vine.
She said I need to plant them by a fence or leave them on the ground but give them alot of room.
The same on the cucumbers.
They said, "Plant Height........9 ft"
"Row Spacing....................Hill 4 ft"

I still don't understand the hill. Am I supposed to make this hill? The pumpkin says 8 ft hill ~ that's taller than me! What the heck???

Everything I do seems to be nothing but a frustrating thing for me.

I watered them today and everytime I would make a move I'd have to walk a mile to get the stupid kink out of the hose. What seems to be so simple is always 100 times harder for me because I just never "get it".

So, now I have:

1 jalapeno pepper plant
1 bell pepper plant
1 strawberry plant
1 cantelope
1 lettuce
1 tomato plant
3 watermelons
and planted a bazillion peas
(the peas will be bushes THANK GOD and not vines....I think)

This is really all I'm going to be able to handle.

Believe me ~ if there is a sign of ANYTHING coming up ~ I will be posting pictures. You will be so sick of seeing my garden you will probably stop reading my blog.

So, I apologize to any of you who may have given me too much credit for having any sense. Please just be patient with me if I ever sound like an idiot.