Meltdown

I wasn't going to post today because I certainly don't want to be the one to blame for putting someone in a bad mood with my ranting ~ so stop reading at any time. It's been one of those days so I wouldn't blame you a bit for just leaving now.

As I previously posted, our a/c caught on fire a few days ago.
Lucky for us, it is 10 degrees above normal here this week and next week too. Even though we live on a hill and 6 days of the week it is so windy up here that we don't want to go outside ~ there is not a breeze and is hotter than words can even explain. It has been 92 for the last 2 days, and I believe it is to be 94 tomorrow.

I am going to croak.

My husband got so tired of hearing me complain that he finally put a window unit in our bedroom to shut me up. I hate window units but I have stopped complaining even though I can't leave the room or will be smothered again.

My house is a complete wreck.
I cannot leave this room.
The kids are sleeping in the floor by our bed.
I want to run away.
We are going to run away in 2 weeks. If I live that long.
We are going to Houston to get a new condensing unit.
1 good thing for me to be married to someone with connections and knows how to do it.

So, with the heat and sun brings on more problems for me.

2 years ago I went to a dermotologist.
Found out what I thought was a mole on my ear was a form of skin cancer.
Non-cancerous.
They removed it and told me to stay out of the sun.
I also have a small blotch on my face just above my upper lip that comes up every summer.
It is really not that dark ~ you really have to be pretty close to me to see it. But, it's dark to me ~ like a darker pigment in my skin. The doctor said it's from the sun ~ stay out of the sun and it won't show up.

Now, what part of stay out of the sun did I miss?
I heard him say it. I just didn't think he meant "stay out the sun" ~
I thought he meant don't go sit in the sun very long.
Don't go in the sun unless you really "want" to.

No, now I realize he really meant it ~ don't go in the sun.

I'm going to have to start doing what he told me. I'm to wear a hat and drench myself in sunscreen to keep this spot from coming up. He gave me a prescription cream that would fix it but it was $150.00. I didn't buy it. For some reason I figured it would go away at some point. I bought a special cream at Dilliard's that is supposed to bleach your skin. It doesn't work fast enough for me. Anything that doesn't work within an hour, forget it.

Today was Landon's last game ~ a double-header that ran from 10:00 - 1:30.
90 degree heat ~ no shade. No sunscreen ~ I didn't know my daughter lost it.
No hat ~ no umbrella. I am 34 ~ not 80 and I need an umbrella. good grief!

I'm thinking I am going to have to have some sort of laser treatment on it. It wouldn't be for anyone else except me because it is driving me crazy. From what I've read, if I do not follow a strict rule to stay out of the sun even after the laser, it will come back.

How in the world am I supposed to stay out of the sun in Texas on a farm?
I can't stay inside for the rest of my life. I love being outside.

A website said it is genetic ~ but I blame it on the state of Colorado. I grew up there and I think I was too close to the sun ~ it damaged my skin and I didn't know it until now. I know this sounds ridiculous but I can't figure out why this has happened to me.

My husband thinks I'm crazy for being so upset about this.
He looks at me from across the room and says he doesn't see it.
I say, "Come closer ~ it is there".
He says, "Kim, it's not that bad."
I say, "Honey ~ it looks like I've got dirt on my face. It looks like I've been drinking chocolate milk and forgot to wipe my mouth".
He says, "I love you no matter what you look like, but I can't see it."

Yes, he sees it.
I know he sees it.
He knows if he says he sees it I will freak out.

I just know that if anything weird is going to happen to anyone ~ it will be me.

Getting older is just no fun at all.

If you managed to stay awake and are still reading ~ thank you.
Everyone has to have a rant sometimes and today it's my turn.