Harley Davidson's and Toothpicks

You've probably been wondering what happened to me and where I've been all week. Well, let me tell you. Standing over the sink doing dishes...and more dishes....and more dishes. You see, I do not have the luxury of having something called a dishwasher. There is not anywhere to put one.

Good grief - I think I've washed more dishes in the last 5 days than I have in my entire life. I'm beginning to believe that someone is taking 1 drink out of a glass and getting a clean glass for the 2nd. Everytime I walk through the kitchen there is another sink full for me to do.

Yesterday, I had already done 2 sinks by 10am. My husband then decides that he's tired of waiting on breakfast so comes and gets more pots and pans, spatulas, silverware, plates, glasses, tongs, cheese grater, egg beater, measuring cups, measuring spoons, strainer, a ladel, and everything else you would find in a kitchen. I am then finally forced out of the kitchen by the smell of smoke from something burning on the stove and go get ready for our trip to the city with the 3 kids who have become a pain in my behind.

After breakfast I grab my purse to run out the door since they are inching their way down the drive without me. I glance at the sink to find another sink full of dishes when all that had been made for them was bacon, toast and cereal. Why is every kitchen utensil in my sink and my cabinets empty because everything is dirty again? I immediately make a mental note AGAIN to remind myself to pick up plastic silverware and paper plates before I get home.

Off to the big city we go. I am not sure why my husband insists that I attend every single meeting he has other than for the fact he can't remember but only 1 sentence that was said during an important meeting. We were on our way to meet with an attorneys office over a disability claim for his back which was hurt 16 months ago. This is a very serious and important meeting, but there we head off with 3 kids in the backseat who are to sit quietly during this meeting. We've never been to this office before and I sit there the whole way wondering why I am even going - there is such a thing as a pen and paper for him to take notes. Just as we are getting near where we are to exit off the highway, he reaches for his handwritten map with the directions to their office they had given him over the phone. It was written in no particular order and appeared to be something like this:

1/2 block
right
immediate left
look for sign
stop sign
street light
another right
left again

In the meantime the kids are in the backseat playing the alphabet game at the top of their lungs.

"THERE'S AN S!!!"

"WHERE???"

"BACK THERE!!!"

"WHERE?????"

"I DIDN'T SEE AN S!"

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT IF IT'S BEHIND US!"

"IT WASN'T BEHIND US WHEN I SAW IT!"

With the hand of God, we found where we were going. It was a huge building with lots of steps and elevators. Oh joy.

By this time I am cranky beyond belief ~

We finally find the office we are looking for and the door is locked. It is 12:55 and we are to be there at 1:00. We wait in the hall as we are going to need another map to find our way back out. The kids have already touched everything and tried to open every door. I continue to keep snapping at everyone telling them to be still. I look at my husband waiting for him to say something and he is just standing there as calm as can be. I then look at his cowboy hat he is wearing and ask "Why exactly do you feel the need to keep a TOOTHPICK tucked in your hatband"???

This is no biggie to my husband either. He wears cowboy boots with shorts. I did get embarassed back in the day and still do, but have learned to just deal with it since he finds my comments insulting in regard to him dressing himself.

I head to the nearest window to peek out -- wishing I could climb out and walk home. I hear a voice from behind me speaking to my husband and apologizing for the delay.

To my surprise as I enter the office there stands the most decked out Harley Davidson man I have ever seen in my life. Tattoos, rings, earrings -- the whole leather thing going on, including the beard down to his chest. The kids wait out in the tiny waiting area and have been threatened with their lives to stay calm and not argue. Of course my husband loves this guy as he is not a flashy snobbish man and is not offended in the least by the toothpick in my husbands hat.

Finally we left and headed back home. All I was looking for was a rock -- a big rock to crawl under and come out of when school starts. I was thinking about the Dunkin Donut's man commercial where he wakes up and says, "Time to make the donuts" -- all I could think was "Time to do more dishes".

Of course I was in such a hurry to get home I forgot the plastic silverware and paper plates. Oh well, that will give me an excuse to leave today for a while.

Here is the wonderful gift the kids left me earlier in the week.



and I keep getting these looks:



46 days left until school starts.

Momma + Trauma = Drama

Let me set the record straight - I do not handle emergency situations well at all. I am the one that the saying was based on, "Panic causes panic". Yes, I cause all the panic. I have warned those around me that it would not be in their best interest to call me for comfort if they are on their death bed. I know the rules of "etiquette" on how you are to be in a tragic or traumatic moment ~ but none of those rules can hold up during the time I need them to. I assure you, if you are laying in your bed needing me to comfort you, encouraging you and all those fine things -- I will be in the bathroom about to faint and be sick. If the doctor says "poke",
I will hear "croak". If he said "bedside", I'd hear "cyanide".

I remember an afternoon when I was heading off to work around 3:30pm to work my 4-midnight shift. As I was leaving, my son (who was 3 at the time) was standing on the front porch playing with his nose. I asked him if he needed a tissue and told him to go in the house to have his dad get one - gave him a hug and kiss and left.

Around 9:30 I called home to check in and say goodnight. All seemed well.

At 12:30am when I arrived home, they were still awake. Landon was laying in our bed and my husband was looking up his nose with a flashlight. He turned to me and said that Landon had been saying there was a bee up his nose but he didn't see anything. I grabbed the flashlight in search of anything ~ just darkness. About this time he began to cry saying it hurt and saying "Mommy - a bee - a bee up my nose!"

Immediately I grab him up thinking the bee has now caved its way into my sons brain and that's why I can't see it. Off to the ER 45 miles away Landon & I go. I presume my husband was left standing in the drive as I didn't stop for a second to give him a second thought.

Upon reaching the ER, I give Landon a buffet of Mountain Dew, gummy bears and chocolate covered cupcakes in the waiting room trying to earn his love back for being such a crummy mom - I mean, he has had this bee up his nose almost 12 hours!

We are taken back to our little ER space where the doctor comes in and swings the shower curtain drape closed around us. He sits down and immediately begins drilling me. Landon isn't crying -- he hasn't cried again since we left the house. I tell the doctor that I believe maybe the bee has died somewhere up that tiny little hole that is nothing but pitch darkness. He begins his exam sticking his pen light as far up as he can go -- nothing. He begins explaining to me what things are going to be done in order to locate the trespassing bee.

Suddenly, Landon sneezes. Something flies by my ear like a speeding bullet, through the crack in the curtain to the wall behind us in the hall and under the copy machine.

The doctor walks over and moves the copier out of the way, bends down and picks something up, stands up holding it in his fingers and looks at me and says "It's a bead!"

No more "make your own jewelry kits" for my daughter.

Forever and Ever

April 26, 1996 I met my husband. It was one of those things I wasn't looking for ~ he just showed up at my front door that day, literally. I think we knew we were in love within 24 hours. We married June 22, 1996 which turned out to be an extremely stressful day. The morning of our wedding I ended up in the emergency room because I was so sick and nervous I couldn't make it down the aisle.....wondering what I had gotten myself into. After a shot of Vitamin B and a quick up-do to my hair, all I remember is stumbling down the aisle from all of the medicine and IV's the ER had given me. His arm was in a sling because he'd fallen out of an attic and dislocated his shoulder. He was hungover from his party the night before and we were both exhausted.

2 strangers committing to each other til death did we part. In all honesty, I'm surprised neither of us killed each other after we'd gotten to really know each other. They say opposites attract and I can say that's what happened to us.

I don't know what we were thinking. He already had 2 children from a previous marriage and I had 1. Looking back it was irresponsible ~ we have each cried many tears over the other and how we weren't meeting each others expectations and our "dream" of what marriage was to be (though neither of us had a good example of what marriage was about), wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

We have come close several times to walking away, usually when things seemed impossible to overcome. We hung in there and kept our commitment because something inside us knew that this marriage was meant to be and that God had brought us together even though we had no idea why. The last 3 years have been (to me) what marriage is supposed to be. We figured it out for ourselves and have tried to become the wife/husband/parent we wanted in our lives. We found that going to church as a family is the glue, disagreements come and go, I will still pout and not tell him what's wrong, and he will always have control of the TV remote -- but that's ok.

Yesterday was our 9th anniversary.
Both of us forgot. He reminded me tonight.

Even though I feel so bad that such an important occation was overlooked, it doesn't take away from what we have. I feel that everyday is a celebration of our marriage and our family. I celebrate it everyday and don't feel that I have to wait until "the day" to say Happy Anniversary.

I am just hoping that by neither of us remembering means that we don't feel we have to add them up every year because we know that we will be counting them for a long time to come so what's #9? (Yes, I'm trying to rationalize this in my mind)

What I do know is that I have been waiting for #10 because I plan on us doing something big -- like a trip to Jamaica. It will be the 1st time for us to go anywhere alone, away from everyone and everything. Jessica was only 4 and went on our honeymoon with us so it didn't actually count as a honeymoon. It was a family vacation.

I am very proud of 9 years of marriage to this man ~ I didn't think we'd make it to the first one.

Love is amazing.

No Place Like Home

I never thought I'd ever be so glad for my tiny little house. I may complain all the time about it but I have never loved it so much until now.

We got home Sunday and it's taken me a couple of days to regroup. Everything looked like it had been abandoned when we pulled up the drive -- I couldn't see the house for the grass being so high. There must have been a storm because everything was scattered and knocked over. Imagine my surprise to find a cantelope that was left on the kitchen table that I had asked someone to take out before we left. The other thing is my garden -- being the new gardener I am I now see what I did wrong. Not sure what is what now -- can't tell what is a weed and what isn't. It took a life of its own and now I have a big mess.

To start off - this was the reason we took a horse.


(I blacked out the name of the company)

This wasn't exactly what I had planned. My husband ended up being the one to ride the horse while I babysat 5 kids in the wagon. I was accompanied by an older gentleman who drove, along with the wife of the owner and her dog.

It was fun for about the first 15 minutes -- then I was ready to get out. Yes, the wooden wheels are just as bumpy as you would think. For some reason I imagined a trailride as being something fun -- not miserable. Under different circumstances I am sure it would have been great -- just not for me.

The kids were loud and crazy -- jumping on and off the wagon through the backdoor. The owner's wife decided to lay down with her dog and take up the entire side of the wagon sticking me in a 4 ft space with 5 yelling kids. (Did I mention she was barefoot and had a fungus problem growing?) OMG - I really thought I was going to die. The music blared -- so loud that no one could hear anything. I also didn't realize how slow a mule walks. Especially when we have set out to ride a 5 hour trip. (I didn't know this until we were 2 hours into it).

Here was Jessica's reaction.



Here's my thoughtful husband. Too bad he got kicked by a horse during the 4th hour and got to leave early.....not us.....they didn't let us off.




Everyone was pretty much drunk half way through -- except me.
Don't think I didn't think about it at a time like this.



Looks pretty fun and relaxing, right? Yeah, whatever.
The interstate was on the other side of this hill.
When we were able to be seen from the road, cars actually stopped to take our picture. I'm sure all they saw was me with my mouth wide open yelling "H-E-L-P!"

Even though I am terrified of heights, I would have done anything to be here.



So, take it from me -- if you are ever invited on a trailride, remember what I say. Make certain there are no kids and if there are, make sure there are kids that mind. Mine were good -- it was my sister-in-laws that were terrors. I didn't take their pictures as I never wanted to see their faces again.

Look what Landon got to do. The fun lasted until my stepson hit the ground with his front tooth. Then Landon was scared and isn't crazy about the whole thing anymore.



My stepson did come home with us and is staying for 3 weeks. This was completely unplanned but we don't get to see him often enough. He hasn't let go of his dad -- he's like glue.



Believe it or not, he's as sweet as he is cute.

We did get to go the beach while we were there. It was alot of fun -- probably the most fun we had while we were there. The only problem with the ocean there is that the water is so dark and murky. Makes me worry about what is swimming around that I can't see -- so I didn't get in. Everyone else was having a ball splashing and playing until we saw a stingray flapping around in the shallow water -- we saw it clear as day. Of course then everyone thought they were seeing sharks.

I sat on the beach under my umbrella -- tried to stay out of the sun as much as I could since my skin just can't handle it. Unfortunately I forgot about my feet. They were so sunburned they were swollen -- everyone else was sunburned too. I had a routine with the sunscreen but I don't think they stayed out of the water long enough for it to work. The directions said to apply 30 minutes before -- kids just don't want to wait that long. My husbands hair is thinning and he forgot to wear a hat -- I forgot to tell him to. He was in pain.

We did finally get our new air conditioner, thank God. My husband installed everything yesterday (that's what he's done for a living his entire life) but forgot 1 important piece to keep it from flooding the attic -- he realized that this morning when Landon's ceiling about crashed down. Not sure how someone could forget such an important part especially when they've done it a zillion times.

My mother-in-law is not speaking to me anymore. She emailed me and told me I'm not qualified to play psychologist in regard to their huge family squabble between all of them and no one was speaking to each other. If it wasn't so dramatic and such a long story I would explain. My family was always so small that no one argued so this is new to me when families do. They just seem to go over the top on everything and read more into things than their are. All I did was listen to everyone and I did not give my opinion since it wasn't asked for because everyone that had to explain their side of the drama thought they were right anyway.

I don't think she liked it when I said that not 1 person took responsibility for their actions and before they point fingers they need to look at themselves first. That was my only 2 cents I gave but somehow managed to make it on her poop list now.

She is the step-mother to my husband and his sister -- she also has a daughter from a previous marriage and a son with their father. There has always been preference shown between the 4 as to who were the favorites -- so when my sister-in-law approached me and I agreed with her that sometimes it was obvious, my mother-in-law wanted to accuse me of starting problems. Luckilly I made it 10 years before I ended up on her bad side. I'm not sure that I care at the moment -- she won't stop talking long enough to listen so I really don't care how she feels. I just try to keep the peace for my husbands sake and keep my mouth shut and let his family continue to dig their own hole.

So, that is really what has been going on the last 2 1/2 weeks. I am just so glad for things to start getting back to normal. I think we are going to be going to the lake this afternoon for the kids to swim. I figure it will turn into a camping trip, too. I like to camp but I am so glad to be home I'm not up for that today. I may just leave my husband in charge so I can come home and have some time to myself with my computer. I've missed blogging so much and really need to catch up on what I've missed.

Finally some live blogging

Geezzz....I sure didn't know it was going to take so long to get back to a computer. I had no clue what an internet addict I am until this past week. I have been having major withdrawl symptoms wondering what in the world I have been missing.

This post will have to be snappy ~ the computer is set up in my in-laws bedroom and it makes me uncomfortable being in here. My father in law hurt his back and has been on bedrest for 4 days, so guess who is watching me and I can't think straight.

Basically I am homesick and ready to go home. I knew it would happen sooner or later so now I'm countin' down the days until we get back. We should be going home at the end of the week.

We have been having fun though ~ will have to say more about it later. I can say that I've been building lots of character since I've been here.

This live blogging really isn't all it is cracked up to be. I think it would be more interesting if I could share a picture or 2 but fear I may break something if I try.

Any~who, I probably won't be posting again until I get back home.

(clicking my heels saying "there's no place like home, there's no place like home")

On the road again

Well, the time has finally come for us to leave.

Everytime we head off out of town I always feel like the Beverly Hillbillies. This time we are taking our dog who will be taking turns riding in the back and in the backseat with the kids ~ and now I see a trailer hooked up to the back of the truck with a horse. Typically there is a wad or 2 of gum stuck outside the back window ~ all of our luggage in the back of the truck where at some point along the way it will begin to pour down rain and my husband starts putting everything in trash bags.

We have to make a trip 40 miles out of the way before we leave to pick up my credit card I left at a restaurant yesterday ~ when I called to make sure it was there they said it had been left behind the counter ~ they had forgotten to give it back to me. While we are there we will be exchanging Landon's new toy he bought with his lawn-mowing money ~ the Star Wars lightsaber is for a baby and a piece of junk, he said. My husband is still on a mission to find "the" DVD player for the car ~ we've looked at several but he still hasn't found one he wants. I figure we will be stopping by Best Buy and/or Circuit City hoping to find "the" one.

This is going to be the longest trip ever ~ I will be so ready to get there. It seems like it is about a 7 hour drive but with all the stops we make and taking a horse it should take about 12. After this drive I may be happy about staying there for 2 weeks.

So, next time you hear from me I will be live blogging from Houston. Thanks Hick for inspiring me to learn how. :-)

10-4.